You Cannot Be For Everyone
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You can’t make everyone like you
Nearly a decade of weekly therapy has burned this mantra into my mind. Growing up as a high-achieving, anxiety-ridden, hyperactive kid, I considered a missed connection to be a personal failure. If someone didn't like me, well that was certainly my fault. And because it was my fault, it was my responsibility to adapt, warp or distort myself until that person gave me their seal of approval. Luckily, I don't feel that way anymore.
Before talk therapy, there were two bastions of American Capitalism that taught me this lesson: Shark Tank and BJ's Brewhouse.
I think hitting 100% of the market is bad, actually.
If you have somehow avoided the cultural monolith that is ABC's Shark Tank, let me fill you in. Entrepreneurs bring their products, businesses, services, etc. to a TV board room where they stand in front of 4-5 people with more money than literally dozens of countries. Then these entrepreneurs give a pitch in hopes that one of those investors will make them richer than dozens of countries.
After college, Shark Tank became a comfort show for me. (Idk why, depression is a hell of a drug) At least once a season, some poor dweeb would bring their cellphone-centric product on the show. Sometimes it was a new phone case, others were special chargers, you get the idea. And every time, these poor dweebs would face the same question: does it work for iPhone and Android?
More often than not, the answer was no. When the inevitable "no" was dropped, the investors would balk. They'd usually say something like, "Well, if you're only interested in 50% of the market, I'm not interested." This was also a common refrain when entrepreneurs pitched a product that was "just for women" or "just for men."
Here's the thing though: I don't have an iPhone and an Android. I, like most people, own one phone. I was in that 50% and I wanted that product. But, because some rich loser wanted 100%, the entrepreneur and myself instead got 0%. That sucks.
If you hit 100% of the market, you're probably doing 85% of poorly.
For my second example, I'd like to introduce you to the menu of a restaurant called BJ's Brewhouse. Do me a favor, look at that menu and tell me what you think BJ's Brewhouse does well. Like, if the same kitchen is making Parmesan-Crusted Chicken, New Orleans Jambalaya, Spicy Peanut Chicken with Soba Noodles, Enlightened Cherry Chipotle Glazed Salmon and Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza, which one of those are you going to feel good about ordering? ALSO, it's called BJ's Brewhouse! They're supposed to be known for their craft beer! How can I trust your Spicy Peanut Chicken with Soba Noodles if you're also trying to nail the hop balance on a triple IPA???
I can't. And, in fact, I won't.
You may not have a BJ's Brewhouse in your town, but you probably have a Cheesecake Factory or something similar. We all know a restaurant with a menu thicker than most religious texts. It's where you take groups of 15 people so no one is disappointed, but is anyone really happy? My favorite thing at BJ's is their Pizookie. I haven't had one in years because I got tired of waiting for the kitchen to cook three steaks and flip seven burgers before they put my cookie in the oven. I just bought a cast iron skillet.
Fuck Em.
Apologies to those of you who read this blog and don't like strong language, but let this prove my point. You cannot make everyone happy all of the time. That said, if you're true to yourself, the people who don't love everything you do, will stick around for the things they do like. And if you're true to yourself, and someone doesn't want to stick around, fuck em. You didn't need them to begin with.
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